Ann’s Farewell Discourse: John 20:1-10, John 21:20-25, Acts 4:32-34 (June 14, 2009)
It is Thursday morning, June 11, and I sit at the word processor knowing that this is the last sermon or message that you will hear from me for at least three months. I want to thank you, dear Wild Rose friends, for granting me my sabbatical even though we as a congregation lack the funds for “pulpit supply” in my absence. There may be times in the days and weeks to come when you will regret this decision, but I predict that if you will lean on the Holy Spirit, your true gifts will be revealed to you.
The theme of today’s message centers around what I might call “unfavorable comparison.” What is it about we humans that we are always comparing ourselves to others? I chose the scripture lessons today to show the ongoing competition between Peter and John. I hope my reading of these verses showed you how childish, how full of “sibling rivalry” this relationship could be at times. Here we are, at the tomb, and it has to be recorded for history who arrived there first, who entered the tomb first, and so on. And here we are by the shoreline, during Jesus’ last “post-resurrection” visit quibbling about whether one disciple will be granted special privileges or not. Jesus’ response to Peter’s niggling questions is “what is that to you?”
Probably every person in this room (unless you are an only child) can recall a time when you felt intense rivalry toward your brother or sister. If you cannot recall such an incident, can you perhaps recall how you felt when your high school football team clashed with an old rival? Perhaps you have stood on the sidelines while your child or grandchild played soccer. Do you recall this spirit of competition? Steve and I encountered it last evening as the Rockies played the Brewers in Milwaukee. Of course we were looking for the Rockies to prevail as they had in the past six road games. But this desire to win included some “Peter and John” childishness as well. We began to focus on the Brewers’ first baseman, Prince Fielder. We commented snidely that he has continued to eat too many bratwurst and to drink too much beer. We have no actual knowledge of his dietary habits, but wanted to “make fun” of his girth. Never mind that he has a very good batting average. We wanted to whittle him down a bit.
We know from the field of psychology that “unfavorable comparison” leads to what is called “low self esteem.” The roots of self esteem begin early in life. They are connected to having “good enough” parents who could communicate to us that they appreciated us. This does not mean they praised everything we did or bought us a trophy every time we cleaned our room. Perhaps most of all, it came from having parents who thought that they, themselves were “good enough.”
Jesus wipes the slate clean for any and all persons who did not receive enough love or appreciation as children. In the words of one of my favorite old gospel hymns, “Victory in Jesus,” I am told that he loved me before I knew him. That all my love is due him. We enjoy singing this hymn at the Life Care Center. Jesus bestowed upon us the gift of the Holy Spirit in the season of Pentecost, which we now enjoy. Common folks like you and I were given wonderful gifts to use for the good of all. “With great power the apostles gave their testimony to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and great grace was upon them all.: (Acts 4:33)
You may be wondering to yourself why I chose this topic for my last sermon before sabbatical. It is because I have always taken my role of “healer” seriously. You see, not only individuals, but entire congregations can have “low self esteem” based on unfavorable comparisons with other congregations. I have always known this and it was, as a topic, covered extensively in the reading that Steve and I have been required to do for the Summer Collegium we will soon attend. Karen and Jackie have an extra copy of each of the books we were required to read if anyone is looking for in-depth studies of small churches!
I have combed and combed through these books, written or edited by Anthony Pappas, who will be our primary speaker in Virginia, to find little gems to share with you, my dearest flock, before I go. First of all, did you know that TWO THIRDS of the congregations in each denomination are categorized as “small”? If we are in such a majority, then why do we keep looking to the “big churches” as what we want to be? And that if we really looked at the “big churches” we would see that they are trying to become US by offering lots of small group encounters. Why do we always have to think that bigger is better? Why do we feel the urge to “Supersize” everything?
Here are a few sentences from a chapter in one of Pappas’ books. These words were penned by Loren Mead. “I think it’s possible that the smaller congregations have an opportunity to develop some guidelines about what it means to be in ministry, and to be successful in ministry. It is quite clear that most of those congregations will not ever fit the criteria for success established by denominations: they probably won’t grow significantly in numbers, they probably will stay even or just slightly ahead of inflation in stewardship, they will frequently have years when they have a net loss of membership, they will never erect the majestic buildings that larger congregations can boast. Yet as a congregation of people they have the possibility of doing a splendid job.”
Another gem from Loren Mead is being lived out at Wild Rose Church as we speak. “Many small-membership congregations are experimenting with different ways for clergy and laity to share the jobs that must be done to support a local church.” Oh, the stories I will tell in Virginia about how Wild Roses “stepped up to the plate,” and “covered the bases” for me on my sabbatical.
Anthony Pappas, whom we will meet, tells us in the forward to Inside the Small Church, published by the Alban Institute, that small churches can provide the personal touch and warmth so needed as an antidote to our increasingly impersonal culture.
I’d like to close with a story. It is found in Pappas’ introduction to his edited book. He is outlining the shifts that small churches are undertaking. Elsewhere in the book, it will be outlined that many churches and pastors are “killing themselves off” with over-functioning in terms of trying to be all things to all people. Pappas tells of one of the churches in southeastern Massachusetts that was under his supervision. This story reminded me, in general terms, of the history of Wild Rose Church as I have been able to ascertain that history during my search in the past month.
A 20 year old congregation had been founded with high hopes, but they never seemed to be able to live up to their own and the denomination’s expectations. Sure, they were doing some things very well. They had a fresh and personal approach to worship. Their space was more homey, less formal, and multifunctional. They were keeping up with their mortgage payments, although just barely. But they were also doing a number of things weakly or not at all. They had slipped back from a full-time pastor to part-time. They seemed to be stuck in a syndrome of alternating cycles of discouragement and hostility. The crisis came to a head when their pastor was forced to take a medical leave of absence. He and the congregation had tried to live into a definition of success that did not fit them. They had tried to be big and successful and all things to all people, and “it had darn near killed them both.”
During his leave, the Holy Spirit ministered to the pastor and he developed a more healthy and balanced set of self-expectations. The congregation discovered that they liked being moderate or centrist theologically and in their worship style. They enjoyed being a “single cell of caring people” rather than a multi-cell church. They had finally given themselves permission to just be themselves. Their pastor came roaring back with joy from ministering as he could, instead of feeling anger and guilt for what he wasn’t accomplishing. And for the past two years, that church has been a delightful place of joy and peace and love and health!
As you enjoy this summer without a pastor, please relish this invitation to just be yourselves. Remember, every time you compare yourselves to another church, of the words of Jesus to Peter, “what is that to you” what they are doing? Accept the gift of the Holy Spirit to birth new creativity in yourselves. For, as Pappas says, “We are coming to see that the God of infinite creativity and variety can shape as many different forms of the small church as we can respond to in obedience. The sky is the limit!” Amen
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