Last month Ann challenged us to meditate on the idea of having a friendship with God. I found that idea extremely moving. God the Father that I grew up with was not the sort of deity one made friends with. I know that I left that notion behind, and so I was surprised to find myself so surprised by the idea of being friends with God. It would be just too amazing to have such a great friend!
When I left church that day I went to the library to find a book that a friend had recommended. We have begun a sharing of aspirations and she thought this one author would be helpful to me. It wasn’t, but right next to that book was entitled “Friendship with God: an uncommon dialog” by Neale Donald Walsch.
This is a continuation of a trilogy of books called “Conversations with God” that have been translated into several languages and are sought after world wide. These conversations began when Walsch was at a very low point in his life, reduced to sitting up at night questioning God and demanding answers. Answers began to come into his head so he began to write them down. The questions and answers grew into three books. As he was writing the acknowledgements to the third book, he was inspired to write, “Thanks to God, my dearest friend.” Realizing that this was not the usual concept of God, he began another conversation with God about Friendship. In this book Walsh and “God” discuss Walsch’s preconceived notions of God and their link to his notions of Fatherhood. He has quite a few stories of how his father squashed idealistic tendencies such as his fervent desire to be a priest, and his love of piano. This was someone to be obeyed, not really a friend. “God” gives him a list of action verbs to help him find his way to friendship with anyone – even God:
Know,
Trust,
Love,
Embrace,
Use,
Help, and
Thank.
These are recommendations for building friendship with anyone – not just God.
Knowing someone is more than recognizing them, or being familiar with their habits; it means to know their soul. Knowing what it is that drives them to do what they do or say what they say.The way Walsch and “God” describe Trust is such a trust that you don’t even have to wonder if you trust them. It is not possible for true friends to betray one another. This trust is so great that it is unnecessary to consider.
Love between friends means that no matter what should happen, you will still be friends. Nothing can come between you. Even if a friend should make a poor decision, or somehow cause you harm inadvertently, you are still friends the same as ever. Perhaps only our pets love us this way. We can follow their example!
Embracing a friend is showing them that you are there for them. It means to be close.
That friends should be used was surprising to me, but on reflection not so surprising. We all want to feel valuable to others. When we ask a friend for something, we know they will say yes to their greatest extent possible. Asking for favors is a form of bond. My mother once told me that she was very happy to have a “borrowing neighbor”. One she could call on if she needed anything. The sign that one gives to indicate the acceptability of borrowing is to borrow! Her neighbor came and asked for things and so my mother felt comfortable asking for things too!
Help. We all need help. Helping is the other side of asking.
Thanking is recognition of the friendship. I asked, you helped, I recognize your friendship by thanking you.
In the context of God, we know lots about God, from the bible, from teachers, and from our own hearts, minds, and lives. We don’t always recognize God in what is going on though.
Do we trust God? Do we believe that God has our best interests in mind? Do we even know what our best interests are? Perhaps if we do trust God and form an intention that we will be all that God needs us to be, we might eventually recognize that we have been well served by God.
We often say that we love God, but do we really? Do we sometimes feel cheated or ill used by God and then doubt God’s even existence? That is not real love.
What is it to embrace God? It seems to me that would be to entirely trust and love God and throw yourself into whatever comes your way, knowing that God sent you to that place, time, and situation, to represent God. Can we do that?
Using God is easy. We ask for things all the time, but God has strange ways of answering in a manner that seems ambiguous and full of troublesome complications – like him giving Jerusalem to the Moslems and the Jews so that they can work out their differences! During the election I was worried that Obama wouldn’t win. I prayed that he would and the answer I got was “Everything will be fine” what does that mean? That he will loose and it will be fine anyway? Or that he will win and everything will be fine? Or does it mean, no matter which happens, eventually everything will be fine, but for whom? We need to get better at asking or better at receiving the answer we get.
To help God, all we can do is to listen to the messages that are sent. Be the best that we can. I believe that the way of God is greater peace and joy. Paths that bring more peace for more people will be God’s way. Sometimes in our efforts to follow the path we perceive as God’s path for us, we hurt others. Is that part of the plan too?
The last step to friendship with God is to Thank God for whatever comes knowing that what has come is what was intended for us to learn some critical lesson that will be good for us or will put us in contact with people that we need to meet for some reason.
These ideas are not easy. They bring up even more questions. Let them settle in your heart and see if they feel right. We may want to read this book together at some point. In the meantime we can practice being better friends with God and the people we know.
In peace & love,
Michelle
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