Isaiah 6:1-8, Luke 4:14-21
Today is a wonderful day to speak of Ordination to the Christian Ministry, because today’s verse is the passage in Isaiah where a reluctant man is cleansed of his feelings of guilt and separation and by his own consent to the call of God becomes a powerful prophet to the people.
I have had a good week reviewing my own call to the ministry which culminated in my ordination just five years ago. My first round of seminary prepared me to be a Christian counselor. My second round of seminary prepared me for the work I do now.
You may be aware that ordination in the United Church of Christ is a lengthy process. Many papers must be written and defended. Many questions must be answered. This seemed like a lot of effort at the time but I am grateful for these efforts now. They allow me to revisit that time of discernment and the dawning of realization that I was being called into the ministry.
The purpose of today’s message is to share with you how your pastor began to understand her gifts so that you might come to see that you, too, were born to make manifest the love of God. Let’s look at my journey and then apply it to yours.
Steve and I were active parents of two school age children in the early 1990’s. We encouraged our son to play tennis, my family’s sport. We may have injured his spirit in the process, but he found the strength to tell us to back off. Our daughter did the same thing. Because she was 6’ tall, (though not aggressive), I decided she should play volleyball. She locked herself in the bathroom and refused to go. When asked to choose a pursuit of her own heart’s desire, she chose ballet and stayed with it for the next 4 years. They were finding the strength to be their authentic selves. Thanks be to God!
After surviving the trauma of getting Tony off to college in Texas, I had to face up to the reality that we were losing my mother to Alzheimer’s disease. I will not forget the day when it occurred to me that she was entering a nursing home for the rest of her life. The gift of her illness was learning that love comes from the heart, not the head. I had a remarkable experience near the time of her death. I was heading off to Chicago for some training and received a deep heart message that I should not board the plane in Omaha but drive on to Kansas City to be with my mother. I had three precious days to sing to her, to thank her for being my mother, to bless her, and to release her to her own indwelling presence of God. I was humbled and grateful.
I had a dream just prior to her death that invited me into a deeper baptism. Another dream in the weeks following invited me to enter a church through the front door where a banquet fit for a queen was laid out for me. A sweat lodge I later attended led me to see that I had made gods of money and the intellect. My heart knows that God’s grace is sufficient, but my ego draws me back into this world. I continue to learn ways to wear this world like a loose garment.
My year at Chicago Theological Seminary was transformative. It was all due to the lure of the Spirit. I was being called into a different identity than that of wife, mother and therapist. I was being called into the ministry, but I did not know it at the time.
While studying, learning, singing and dancing in Chicago, I also signed on for some Jungian analysis. I showed my analyst a drawing I had made after a spiritual experience in 1996. I told the analyst that the woman shown had no hands “because she had not been commissioned yet.” The ’96 experience gifted me with some healing for a woman’s soul and required me to see that women had been marginalized for thousands of years. I stand in non-violent resistance to this process. The early Christian Thecla baptized herself in the Roman arena just prior to being thrown to the beasts. I commissioned myself to continue to model a woman who accepts her own worth and who stands for justice.
I completed my coursework in Chicago and returned to my job at a Baptist seminary in Sioux Falls. There, at a staff retreat, I calmly explained my position of feeling disloyal to my deepest self by continuing to work for a denomination that does not allow women to be ordained. Soon thereafter I resigned from my post there, citing difficulties with their fundamental stance on women.
I have been commissioned as a healer for those whose spirits have been damaged that they might find peace, and a new identity through the Spirit, and that they might through their gratitude pass this healing on to others. We who receive the medicine become the medicine. And we drink from a well that never runs dry.
And now let us speak about your commissioning, your ordination, your manifestation of the love of God. We dare not ask Christ to do it all and we dare not ask ministers to do it all. What holds you back? May I suggest that it is self-doubt, comparing yourself to others, and all other manner of negativity? “When we lose sight of our self-worth, we become unbalanced and regard others with hostility, envy and negative judgments.” (Myss). Here are some recommendations from spiritual intuitive Carolyn Myss. Say to yourself and mean it, “ I accept the sacredness of my life, and I believe that my life is of service to the Universe.” Vow not to judge your life as insignificant. Vow to view your work as sacred. (Carolyn Myss, Why People Don’t Heal and How They Can, 1997, Harmony Books)
Many people in this congregation were able to hear Vietnamese Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh last fall. In one of his writings, he tells of traveling to one of his many speaking engagements around the world. His heart was filled with gratitude for the people who had laid the roadway that he might travel over it. His heart was filled with joy for those who had assembled the airplane in which he might travel. How important it is that we not let our egos gull us into believing that any skill and contribution is somehow substandard.
When you go home today, I challenge you to take your bulletin with you and ponder the Myss ideas printed on the back. And I invite you to anoint the tools of your trade as you vow that you will not judge your life as insignificant. Find some oil, perfume it if you wish. Touch your finger to the oil and touch your life. Touch anything that is an extension of your sacred life. The first time I did this exercise, I touched my word processor, I touched my food processor, I touched many things. None was too mundane for my blessing. However, if you find that you cannot bless or anoint the tools of your work, it is possible that you are being led in a new direction. I would be happy to speak with you if you should have this experience.
I have asked Phyllis to read something written by Marianne Williamson to close our worship. You have heard it at Wild Rose before and you will probably hear it again.
Marianne Williamson
Our Deepest Fear
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our Light, not our darkness that frightens us.
We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?”
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.
There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us. It’s in everyone.
And as we let our own Light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
And as we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
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